Bowlful of Eggs
by Shadow over Egypt
Summary: Loving Kaiba Seto is often like walking the tightrope with a bowlful of eggs in hand - it's easy to step the wrong way and end up with egg all over your face. #oneshot; Puppyshipping#


**Shadow: **Belated present for Roo. Loves to you, tho' you may want to keep to your promise of coming on the forum when you say you will else Kelpy is likely to try and impale you on a stick. (blows kiss)

_**Warnings: **_Contains shonen-ai (boy x boy), Puppyshipping (Kaiba Seto x Jounouchi Katsuya). Personally I loathe the pairing, but Roojii asked, so Roojii gets. Some (mild) language.

* * *

**_Bowlful of Eggs_**

It wasn't fair, Jounouchi decided, such an ill-tempered creature should be so beautiful. Sitting morosely at the breakfast table in the smallest, most personal kitchen in the Kaiba manor, Jounouchi frowned down a smiling photograph hung mockingly on the wall directly in his line of sight.

Mokuba and Seto Kaiba, both a few years younger, the smaller of the two brothers beaming out of the picture-frame, the elder looking vaguely startled, as if the one wielding the camera had sprung out of nowhere on him. Blue eyes, usually narrowed in disdain, were just a little more open than common, a little more understandable…

_Well, that was then._ Jou dropped his gaze from the photograph, raising the now-cold mug of coffee he'd made for himself some time previously to his lips, taking a sip, gagging, and rising from his seat to pour the rest of the liquid down the sink. _This is now._

The brunet in question was upstairs sleeping, as far as Jounouchi knew. Sleeping, or working, doing something mindless and irritating to avoid Jounouchi's presence for as long as possible. They'd had another row the night before; Kaiba had called him something degrading and Jounouchi had flared up…and it had all climaxed with Kaiba stalking from his own room in a monumental temper to rest in a room god-knows-where inside the Kaiba manor. Jounouchi had stayed, a little miserably, in Seto's bed, hoping against foolish hope the other would have come back.

Kaiba didn't.

Never had Seto's bed seemed so _big _before, so _cold_ with its endless expanse of expensive, ocean-blue sheets. How could one person fill so much _space? _How could one person make such a difference…?

Jounouchi hadn't slept. Rising, haggard, when the birds began to sing he had made his way to the kitchen most commonly used by the 'family', pouring himself some coffee and downing it scalding hot. He'd burned his tongue, but the pain had woken him up. Another cup he'd poured himself to nurse, sliding onto a stool at the breakfast table so he could wallow comfortably in self-pity.

Time passed and the sun had shone brighter in the east-facing window of the room, and eventually there had been the familiar thunder of feet on the manor's stairs, the tearaway whirlwind sweeping in through the kitchen doors with a smile on his face and sparkling eyes.

"How are things this morning, Jounouchi-kun?" Mokuba was as bright – and hopeful – as ever. He asked the same thing every morning and always meant something completely different: - _'How are things with _nii-san _this morning, Jounouchi-kun?'_

"Fine; everything's fine." Jou forced a smile for the black-haired boy. _And it's true, _he added internally, pessimistically, to himself. _We haven't been in the same room today yet. It's when we actually have to _acknowledge _one another the trouble starts…_

There was a long pause, Mokuba taking in his companion's appearance. "Jounouchi-kun…" hesitantly the boy approached the elder, laying a comforting hand on the blond's arm, "you don't _look_ fine. Did you and nii-san argue again?"

The Kaibas were an observant family. It was pointless trying to hide anything from either of them. "Yeah," Jou smiled dryly, bitterly, "we argued." At the concerned look upon Mokuba's face the American lifted his own hand, awkwardly patting the boy on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it, alright?" _I'm used to it._

Kaiba was at heart – and there was no other way to look at it – an asshole. An irritating, arrogant, _confusing _asshole, who somehow managed to balance out his periods of asshole-ness with strange, odd moments of startling sweetness, idle, absent gestures of affection he never seemed to notice himself doing, but Jou took stock of, treasured. The fond hand that occasionally ruffled his hair, the distracted kiss on the cheek –

Loving…just _being with _Kaiba for Jounouchi was difficult, stressful. A performance – a balancing act, juggling Kaiba's hot-cold behaviour with his own progressively dwindling sanity, daintily dancing across a bridge made of eggshells, another bowl of eggs clutched desperately to his chest. The slightest wobble and the bridge would crack and crumble beneath him, the smallest of stumbles and he'd be covered in a gooey mess.

"-Good morning, nii-san!" Mokuba turned from Jounouchi suddenly, calling out cheerfully to the tall figure that had suddenly strode into the room.

Kaiba Seto paused at the threshold to the kitchen, looking at his brother, perfect in profile. He was such a – Kaiba Seto, wonderfully scathing. Lovely eyes – hard as ice chips -, curved lips, barbed tongue. Jounouchi felt the man's gaze sweep his frame, and then –

"Good morning, Mokuba." Kaiba swept past them both, heading for the fridge, and even though the little kitchen was filled with sunshine it felt as if icicles should be hanging of the end of Jounouchi's nose.

_The cold shoulder _indeed.

Jounouchi stood. There were a thousand and one things he wanted to say to that indifferent back currently searching for milk or orange juice or _something _in that damned fridge, a thousand and one stinging retorts, hurt replies – '_Am I not worth_ _your attention, Kaiba?' _But to ask…would lead to a predictable argument, to their tempers rising, to a distressed Mokuba. Not a way to start the morning.

Silently, his teeth grit and fists clenched, Jounouchi left the artic kitchen behind him, disgust written all over his face.

* * *

"Jounouchi-kun." Mokuba stood in the doorway of the living room Jounouchi had fled to, his blue-grey eyes anguished. "Jounouchi." The blond didn't answer him. "Jounouchi-kun, won't you speak to me?"

"Mokuba," Jou glanced up at the concerned boy from where he was sitting on the sofa, dejectedly looking at the floor, "don't you have school?"

"In a few minutes." Mokuba hung by the door, as if afraid to go too close to the depressed American. "I just…wanted to check you were okay."

"I told you before, kid," Jou hunted up a weak smile, "I'm fine – alright?"

"And I told _you _before – you don't _look _fine." Hesitantly, Mokuba took a step closer. "Seto-nii's gone to work for the day."

Jounouchi glanced up at the clock. _An hour and a quarter early… _He affected a shrug, striving for nonchalance. "It's t'be expected."

"…What did you argue about?"

_Life, the Universe, and Everything…_ Jounouchi cracked a wry grin, inwardly snorting to himself. "His…use of 'endearments'. His general contrary manner. It went on from there."

"Jounouchi-kun…" Mokuba just seemed so terribly, terribly sad. "Jounouchi – he does love you; I'm sure of it."

"Yeah…" Jou rose from his seat, crossing to wrap the younger boy in a loose hug, "your big brother just has a funny way of showing his feelings, huh?"

Mokuba returned the hug, swallowing, "Yeah…" His voice was quiet.

The day marched on. Mokuba went to school, and Jou wandered, wraithlike and distracted, about the manor. The servants of the household kept out of sight, fleeting shadows that would only appear when called upon. Jou didn't call upon them.

The day marched on. Evening began, and Mokuba arrived home from school, full of bright chatter about the day's events. Attaching himself to Jounouchi's arm the two sat down together in the living room to eat, sprawled in beanbags in front of the widescreen TV, battling on the large assortment of videogames stacked beside.

The day marched on. It became night. Mokuba slowly departed for bed, clearly reluctant to leave Jounouchi alone in the manor. Seto hadn't come home.

"Jounouchi-kun…" Mokuba's words faltered and died at the masked expression in usually warm brown eyes, the black-haired boy rushing forward to wrap his arms around Jou's neck and wail into the blond's shoulder, "he doesn't mean it! Jounouchi-kun, he doesn't; he _doesn't!"_

Jou let the boy sob for a little while, before giving him a comforting squeeze. "It's okay…"

"But-"

"Go t'bed, huh, Mokuba? You'll be too tired for school in the mornin', otherwise."

"Jounouchi-kun…" Mokuba took a half-step backwards, unsure.

"Please?"

"Alright…" Slowly, the pre-teen disentangled himself from Jou, heading for the room's door. "Goodnight, Jounouchi-kun."

The American smiled back at him, feignedly relaxed. "G'night, Mokuba." The boy disappeared to bed. Jounouchi stayed awake, forcing himself to sit and go through a novel he'd been recommended by Yugi numerous times, but had never found the time to read before…

At four o' clock the following morning, Kaiba came home.

The sky was getting light outside the windows, a weird blue-greyness that bled away the world's colours and left a muted in-between. There was no black or white, right or wrong.

Jounouchi met his lover in the kitchen, and both of them were grey.

"Good morning." Stiffness improved Jounouchi's enunciation and articulation, his usual accent dying away into crisp syllables. Kaiba didn't say anything, his back to the blond as he set the coffee percolator going. Dim light turned strands of his hair glowing silver. "Did you sleep well at your desk, or did you just not sleep at all?"

"Don't start, Jounouchi." Kaiba's knuckles were white, gripping the bench as he refused to look his companion's way.

Jounouchi snorted. "I'm not _starting – _since neither of us slept since yesterday I'm comfortable enough sayin' this is a continuation of our...'discussion' then."

"Jounouchi," a warning tone present in the brunet's voice now, the CEO sounding strained, "I'm not in the mood."

"When are you _ever _'in the mood'?!" Jounouchi blazed, anger flaring bright and hot in this lukewarm little kitchen. "You insult me an' then you go and outright avoid me like a flippin' coward – Kaiba, dammit, look at me when I'm yellin' at you!" He grabbed the other's shoulder, feeling stiff, cold muscles under his grasp, brittle ice that matched the chips in Seto's eyes when Jounouchi finally saw the other male's face for the first time that morning. "Kaiba…you call _me _the dog an' yet it always seems to be _you _that's runnin' away with the tail between y'legs."

"If I recall Jounouchi," and now Kaiba's voice has reached the point of no-return, sub-zero and still the temperature's falling, falling, faster than Jou can bear to watch because it's so cold it _burns, _"you've done your own fair share of running. Got a little upset when I called you a nasty name? Poor _baby." _Scathing. "Maybe you should dash off to your little Mouto and let him kiss it better for you."

Jounouchi hit him. It really was like hitting ice, because Seto's face was sculpted from white marble itself, beautifully cold and impassive. Marble hurt and it felt like Jounouchi had broken his hand, his wrist, his _arm, _but marble didn't bleed a red as pretty as Kaiba did, nor flare the same crimson shade as his jagged cheekbone. Wow, shouldn't Jou be proud of himself? His blow had skidded, and he'd hit nose, cheek and eye all in one. That'd hurt like hell soon enough. "I just can't win with you, can I?!" Jounouchi demanded angrily. "I treat you like my boyfriend and you say I'm too 'clingy', so I try to keep my distance and you mock me for runnin' away!! One minute you're kissin' me an' the next you're showin' me th' door – _make up your goddamn _mind, _Kaiba! _I'm not a _yo-yo!!"_

Kaiba, to his eternal credit, didn't hit the other back. Jounouchi's punch had thrown him back a few steps, back whacking off the bench, head thudding against the cupboards. But although the urge to snarl was present, the urge to smack back and hit and hit and _hit – _if Kaiba released another blow in retaliation he knew for a fact he wouldn't be able to stop thereafter, and he and Jounouchi would kill themselves before the sun even properly rose above the horizon. The thought of death didn't bother Kaiba, but he knew his own death would affect Mokuba.

There was always Mokuba to think of.

Jounouchi's breathing was ragged as he glared at his infuriatingly silent lover, brown eyes heated in the pre-dawn grey, grey, _grey. "Say _something!! Don't you feel _anything _Kaiba? Don't you have a bloody heart beatin' somewhere in that iceberg you call a chest?!"

Kaiba touched a hand to his cheek, wiping away blood from his nose delicately, gracefully. Every movement from the man was carefully planned and executed, a picture perfect performance. At the top, Kaiba demanded the best. Jounouchi often thought he was never on par with the man – never _could _be on par and the thought was…infinitely depressing. As if Jounouchi could climb life's ladder for three lifetimes and still never be anywhere near Kaiba's mocking sneer at the top landing.

Jounouchi deflated when Kaiba still refused to speak. "…Do you even want me here? All you ever seem to use me for is a verbal punchin'-bag Seto, and I'm getting kinda' sick of it." Still more silence, echoing on and on into forever. Jounouchi sighed. He was tired, and it was too early in the day to have this discussion. "…I'm going to bed. Do what the hell you like, as you usually do." He turned to leave the kitchen.

"_Katsuya-" _Kaiba called on suddenly, halting mid-sentence, faltering.

"…Yeah?" Jou turned around to look at him, focusing on maintaining the stony expression on his face instead of that wonderful _thrill _that went through him at hearing Seto say his given name. "What is it?"

"I don't…" Kaiba searched for the words to say, the words dredged from nothing, clearly awkward. "I don't dislike your presence." Ice melted and thawed slightly, blood dredged from impassive stone. The Kaiba Seto way of saying, '_I like having you around.'_

"But y'keep insultin' me…_why?"_

"…Old habits are hard to break." Blue eyes averted themselves from inquiring brown. "It is…_strange_ having you around all the time."

'_You confuse me, and I don't know how to deal with it…'_

"It's strange for me too." Jou admitted, reluctantly showing the cards his gambling instincts screamed for him to keep to his chest. "Sometimes I think it'd just be easier to kick you in the family jewels and make a break for it, but still…" an awkward laugh, "maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment, hey?"

"Maybe you're just an idiot for hanging around me." Kaiba seemed to be swinging dangerously into self-hate mode – never a good thing.

Jounouchi frowned at how easily the other pinned all the blame on himself – even if it _was _all Kaiba's fault (and it wasn't always, entirely…). "Ever realised I just might _like _hangin' around you, dumbass?" He moved closer to the brunet again, touching Kaiba's arm. "You're not all bad, tho' you do seriously try my patience now and then." Kaiba suddenly grabbed Jounouchi's arm, pulling the blond closer and locking him in a hard hold against the CEO's chest. The American couldn't move even had he wanted to. "Er-?"

Kaiba didn't say anything, just silently holding onto Jounouchi with a grip that was almost painful. As if he was terrified Jounouchi was going to fight, struggle, and try to break away…

Time passed. The kitchen grew lighter.

"One day soon," Kaiba murmured against the other's hair, unexpectedly speaking after a long time of quiet, "when Mokuba's grown old enough to legally look after himself, let's fight until we both end up in hospital."

Jounouchi was weirdly touched. Not only was Kaiba planning a future with _him still in it, _but he had basically just warned Jou he was going to get him back for his blow earlier. And when Kaiba Seto thought to warn about those sort of things you knew he cared, because Kaiba Seto's punches hurt like bloody _hell. _'I love you', Kaiba had said in his stupid, brusque, roundaboutly draconic way.

"Sure," Jounouchi looked up, grinning at his lover, "let's kick the shit out of one another."

_I love you too._

Kaiba sighed and some of his stiffness drained out of him, but still he didn't let Jounouchi go.

They eventually went to bed about half an hour later and slept like the dead, being roused at three in the afternoon when Mokuba wandered in wondering where they'd disappeared to.


End file.
